Some stuff we need, some stuff we don’t
Here we go. This one is pretty straight forward, as the title suggests. Feel free to add your opinions in the comments.
The King Cage Oliver cage. For all your on-the-bike boozing needs.
Patchnride. The solution to all your flat tyre needs. Patchnride suggests that this will solve the following problems: flat tyres ending your rides, flats being hard to change, flats being messy to change, flats being expensive to change, changing tubes ruining the environment (with this guy’s Borris Becker inspired shirt, he should be pronouncing it, “ruweend“), and generally, being a chump. “I say old boy, do check out my absolutely fabulous bicycle messenger-style bag! Smashing!”
Here’s the problem(s) as I see it, in the order that they are presented.
- The spikey bit you put into your tyre is huge. Most punctures aren’t. Fixed flat, ruined tyre.
- “It’s a quick and permanent solution”. I am going to assume that if your tube is completely flat (and if it’s not, the giant hole you’ve just put in it will take care of that), then the magic within the Patchnride will either go into the tube, or just into the tyre. I may very well be wrong, but I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that the chances of getting your drinking-straw sized needle into a flat tube for re-inflation are pretty slim, so I’m guessing that the tyre gets “patched” more often than not. Boris later suggests that you will no longer have to “shell out big bucks for tubes and tyres“. Hmmm. Anyway, punctures don’t usually ruin the tyre, but it sounds like the Patchnride certainly will. I certainly see at least as much frustration with this process as just changing the tube.
- He murdered his bike. By attempting to change a tube. Changing a tube is not fun, nor is it particularly easy for many people. If you ride your bike a lot, you’ll want to get familiar with it. It’s going to happen, and it shouldn’t end your ride. It definitely shouldn’t take 20 minutes.
- It’s cleaner for the environment. “You reduce your carbon footprint by patching, instead of tossing”! Except for the waste created from the refill canisters (which I presume it needs) and the tyres you’ll have to replace. What’s stopping you from just patching your punctured tubes when you get home, anyway?
- It doesn’t repair pinch flats, so really, you need to carry a spare tube and tyre-levers anyway.
- It claims to be the only way to repair punctured tubulars. See number 8.
- It’s got a leak detector. Basically, this is soapy water. Problem is, you need air in the tube for this to be able to work.
- It’s actually not as fast or easy to use as a Vittoria Pit-Stop or similar, which has been around for years.
The solution to all of your having-too-much-money needs. $1,000,000 later, and you’ll be the proud owner of something both stupendously ugly, and completely unable to be used. Sweet! Don’t forget the Stingray covered water bottle. …~90% of the proceeds go to charity… Couldn’t you just give $1M to charity?
It looks like a cool design. Nevertheless, I remain uninterested. Claims to be compact. It’s thin, but it lines up all your keys in a row, so it’s wide and inflexible. Claims to be light. How heavy are your keys? If you have so many that they are that heavy, can you imagine how wide this would end up being? Claims to keep your “ecological footprint tiny” because you can recycle about 4 links of an old chain. What are they doing with the key heads/handles (do they have a name?) that get cut off? Seems like a net waste if you ask me. Claims to be easier to use because of the enormous leverage the design creates. How bad are your locks, and how bad are you at using a normal key? I could go on, but I won’t.
Must end on a positive. The Trigger Bell. For all your bell ringing needs. I commute daily, and on nice days I usually take my roadie. Roadies are so ultra-cool that they don’t need bells. Besides, that’s like, 60grams of extra weight! (sound familiar?) Over the last year, I have found myself in positions where a bell has been quite handy indeed, so now I have one, and it’s been great. Handy enough that it outweighs any loss of coolness, which is more than made up for anyway when I get to cheerily “ding” super-serious roadies when I pass them. I have quite a compact bell and have positioned it to be at my fingertips when on the top of the bars, but this is still an improvement on that. Plus its brass. Looks good, sounds good, looks and sounds like it works good.
Header Image: mlhradio/Flickr