April 1st makes for cycling fools
I’ve never been a part of the April 1st tradition of messing with people. Well, there was one, and although it was hilarious to my accomplice and I at the time (I’m still giggling now), I did get in a bit of trouble for it. The preparation took place before another college had arrived at work, and when he discovered his office had been thoroughly booby-trapped, he didn’t see the funny side of it and went straight to the boss to complain. Yeah. I know, right?
Anyway, April 1st came and went for me, as usual, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t all get to reap the fruits of its comical bounty.
Unless it’s simply the old baking someone’s something in Jello, or filling someone’s car with balloons or balls or dead fish (they love that one), the success of your April fool endeavors relies on the detail found within the story. Like that time the UK was fooled into believing that spaghetti grows on trees. It has to be enough to make someone buy into it just enough for you to catch them for the big “gotcha” moment – even if that moment only lasts for a second. You’re the big winner, and they’re the big dummy. Suckers.
A number cycling-related brands got involved with some merry-making of their own. I’m not sure if anyone really fell for any of it, but who cares. It’s a bit of fun. So, what better way to spend a whole bunch of time that you should be working than watching a bunch of adults pull pranks?
Cycling is supposed to be fun. If we get too bogged down with our war on motorists (puh-lease) we might just forget why we picked up a bike in the first place, so get with the fooling already.
First up, one from Trek. Cancellara apparently needs to mark his territory wherever he goes (gross), so Trek decided to bottle it. It’s 1 part Fabian-sweat, 1 part Belgium dirt, 2 parts dessicated Swiss cheese, 1 lock of his majestic mane, and 3 parts of the tears of his rivals.
The guys at Global Cycling Network are goofing around more often than not, so there’s a pretty good chance you’ll find some inspiration for your next bit of tomfoolery here.
I’m a bit unsure as to whether or not this is actually some sort of lure for their next lawsuit, but I’m going to take a chance and say that it’s just good clean fun with this one. The Specialized S-Works Selfie Stem. It’s worryingly close to reality.
Everyone has seen this, but it’s the stuff of legend. One day we’ll get around to doing this in the hills here. Classic.
Speaking of the Netherlands, this is good for a laugh… except it’s actually something that happens for realzies. I know its real pain on his face, but at 1:03, well, that’s just hilarious.
Finally, the City of Edmonton (my home for a while) announced plans to remove the sidewalk from Jasper Ave.
“We are recognizing now the mistakes we made in the past: that we’ve let people take far too much public space away from cars,” said City of Edmonton spokesperson April Yorick in an e-mailed statement. “This adjustment is necessary. Valuable public space should be for moving cars and then storing those cars. It was never meant for people.”
Local driver Gary Newman was pleased to learn of the City’s announcement. “Pedestrians have to learn to compromise. They’re always asking for more more more. If you give them a sidewalk on a busy road like Jasper Ave, pretty soon the whole road will be a sidewalk and cars won’t be able to get through or park. And think of the safety: there shouldn’t be people on Jasper. It’s too dangerous. There’s a sidewalk a few blocks away that they can use.” Newman went on to add, “And who pays for those sidewalks, anyway? When pedestrians start being licensed and paying footwear taxes, and wearing reflective vests, then we can talk about building some sidewalks. I drive in from out of town every day, and I’ve never seen any pedestrians on other roads with no sidewalks, like the highway. I don’t think pedestrians actually exist. Especially with the 15 months of winter we get in Edmonton. You just can’t walk here. It’s impossible.”
Loving your work, Edmonton Bicycle Commuters.
Header image: source